Traitor
by BabyStretch
Summary: What Remus feels when he thinks about how Peter betrayed the Marauders. Oneshot. Poem interspersed throughout story.


Traitor

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**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.

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**I arrived earlier than I had expected at Lily and James' house that night. The living room window was open and I was about to go inside when I heard voices.

"Look," Sirius was saying, "I know you trust him and everything, but you have to admit, he's a werewolf, a dark creature. Of course Voldemort'll want to recruit him."

My blood turned icy cold. I shivered. _How had Sirius known?_

I hadn't told anyone about the black letters that had been arriving almost constantly. They were formal letters, inviting me to join Voldemort because I would be treated better by him.

I doubted it, but the letters still scared me, because someone knew where to send an owl to, and someone knew that I was a werewolf. I was sure that none of the others would have received letters like mine, because James and Sirius had made their opinions on Voldemort's ideas very clear and Peter… well, what use would Peter be?

That also meant, I realised suddenly, that I was most likely to be a spy.

* * *

_He was suspicious;  
Claimed it was me.  
Remus Lupin, 'the traitor'._

* * *

James voice floated out the window. "Sirius, I know you and him aren't on the best of terms, but that doesn't mean- Just because you betrayed his trust, doesn't mean he's going to betray yours."

There was a pause. This was a tender subject with Sirius, and with me, despite the fact that it had happened in sixth year. What had happened was that Sirius had told someone how to reach me on the night of the full moon, without telling this person that I was a dangerous werewolf and perfectly capable of killing, or worse. Ever since then, I had found it hard to put my full trust in him. It was James, who had rescued the almost-victim, that I trusted, I had always thought that he trusted me, too.

"But you can't deny," Sirius continued, "that he's been vanishing for long periods on end without telling anyone where he's gone."

That was Order work! I wanted to yell it at Sirius, but, of course, I couldn't.

"It's probably something to do with his new job or something for Dumbledore," James asserted.

There was another pause.

"Look," James' exasperated voice said, "I trust Remus, even if you don't. OK, Sirius?"

Sirius was silent for a moment, then reluctantly said, "All right."

* * *

_His friend trusted me;  
Trusted everyone, even  
Remus Lupin, 'the traitor'._

* * *

I considered leaving, but Peter was at the gate and he soon joined me at the door.

"Hi, Remus," he gasped, ringing the bell. He had obviously been running, but where to or from, or even why, I had no idea.

Lily answered the door with a welcoming smile. "Hello, Remus. Hello, Peter."

"Hello," I replied, briefly persuading my smile to reach my eyes.

"Hi, Lily," Peter grinned. "Sorry I'm late. Dumbledore wanted to talk with me unexpectedly."

_That explained the running,_ I thought as I greeted James and Sirius as warmly as I could. _He'd want to get out of Hogwarts to Apparate here._

"So," James grinned at me, "what have you been up to recently, Remus?"

"Oh, this and that," I replied. "Order business."

Peter and Lily may have missed the look that James sent Sirius, but I didn't. _You see?_

* * *

_And Peter never showed  
Whether he believed  
Remus Lupin was 'the traitor'._

* * *

Throughout dinner, I wondered why on earth Sirius might be accusing me, and who Voldemort's real spy was. Dumbledore had told us two days ago that there was a spy in the Order. Someone close to Lily and James. I hadn't stopped thinking about it since.

It was as I was finishing my dessert that it struck me, and a cold fear passed over me, similar to what I might have felt, had there been a Dementor there.

"Cold?" Sirius asked, standing up. "Should I shut the window?"

I watched him warily, half expecting him to turn and Avada Kedavra us all on the spot.

_Sirius. It was Sirius._

I shivered again. _It had to be._

* * *

_I didn't see through  
The disguise: through to  
The real traitor._

* * *

Two years later, on the first of November, my fears were confirmed. Lily and James had asked Sirius to be their Secret-Keeper for the Fidelius Charm. Sirius, of course, had betrayed them to Voldemort, and gone on to kill Peter – poor, helpless Peter. All that was left, as the newspapers gleefully reported, was a finger. One finger.

However, Sirius' plan to murder Lily, James and their son, Harry, had backfired. Now Voldemort was weakened, if not dead, Harry was alive, and Sirius was in Azkaban.

Three of my friends dead and the fourth as good as: a traitor in prison. All because I hadn't spoken up when I realised the truth. It was my fault. All my fault.

* * *

"… without telling me?"

With a nod, my world changed.

It hadn't been Sirius who was the traitor at all. It had been Peter.

Peter, who had been so quiet, so secretive.

Peter, who had disappeared suddenly for short periods, then made some weak excuse for his absence.

Peter, whom no one had suspected.

Peter, whom I had trusted.

What use had Peter been?

He had betrayed me.

He had betrayed Sirius.

He had betrayed Lily and James.

I couldn't _wait _to get my hands on him.

* * *

_He betrayed me, and  
He betrayed James.  
He betrayed everyone,  
But Sirius got the blame._

* * *

**AN: I rushed this through a bit, suddenly realising that I hadn't responded to someone's review. This was originally just a poem, which grew.**

**Please- No, I won't say it. You can guess. But no flames, please. Constructive criticism is, as always, very welcome.**


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